Thursday, January 22, 2009


Although I often still catch myself doing it, I tend to avoid saying "bless you" when someone sneezes in my presence. If you're a non-believer like me, what is there to do that appropriately takes the place of such a colloquial icon? Aside from respectfully ignoring it as with most other bodily functions, here's nine things I've found to say (in no particular order):

1. "Goddamn you!"
2. "Hurry up and die already!"
3. "Blue shoe!"
4. "Gesundheit." (German for "good health")
5. "Stop that! And cover your mouth when you sneeze, idiot."
6. "I hope you don't sneeze again."
7. "Salud." (Spanish for "your health")
8. "Are you okay?"
9. (quoting Dane Cook) "Nothing happens when you die!"

Oh, and before I go I'd just like to say, fuck Dane Cook!


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