Well, it seems the "end of the world" has once again come and gone. While the faithful are busy trying to rationalize their cognitive dissonance, reality continues -- as it always does -- forward. I am both enraged and saddened at Harold Camping for the casualties left in his wake of fear-mongering, and simultaneously filled with schadenfreude for the dumbfounded scratching their heads in disbelief.
Let's face it, none of raptor-ready halfwits are in any kind of "shock" right now. When the mind is addled with such a lack of critical thinking, it can come face-to-face with contrary or antipodes information and still assume it was right all along. The double-think involved is seen any many other areas of theistic ideology...it's like a staple or a necessity for it. In fact, I'd be amazed if I could find one of these May 21st people who would say, "I truly believed the world was going to end, and when it didn't I realized there was something deeply wrong with my thinking."
One can wish. Next up to get bitch-slapped by the world when it sticks around: the Mayans.
-STA
(Typed while listening to Ænema)
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Paying for Prayer
Are you sitting down? Good. Here's a couple news items from this week.
An All-Christian Prison
Oklahoma plans to build a Christian-run prison to give Christian inmates special privileges. So where's the all-atheist prison, or the all-Muslim prison? Sure, that's exactly what they need. Pray to an invisible friend that will take away all the bad things you've done in your life so that you can feel better about yourself, and read your bibles that tell stories of unicorns, dragons, satyrs, and talking donkeys. "Ninety-eight percent of offenders are going to get out of prison," says the project's leader. "What kind of offender do you want living next door?"
Priest Same As Doctor
Congressional members are again kowtowing to Christian Science by sponsoring a provision in the health care reform bill to allow prayer to be considered medicine. The Christian Science Church has pushed throughout its history to secure official recognition for its paid prayer practitioners. That's right, I said paid prayer practitioners. Their job is to pray for healing and charge for treatment at rates similar to those of medical doctors. Imagine having a job where you just pray for someone to get better all the while earning doctor's wages! I guess if you don't have a conscience or care at all about people, that's the best job in the world. If praying for someone to get better counts as medicine, shouldn't praying for someone to die be considered an attempt at murder? Does praying to win the lottery amount to fraud?
-STA
An All-Christian Prison
Oklahoma plans to build a Christian-run prison to give Christian inmates special privileges. So where's the all-atheist prison, or the all-Muslim prison? Sure, that's exactly what they need. Pray to an invisible friend that will take away all the bad things you've done in your life so that you can feel better about yourself, and read your bibles that tell stories of unicorns, dragons, satyrs, and talking donkeys. "Ninety-eight percent of offenders are going to get out of prison," says the project's leader. "What kind of offender do you want living next door?"
Priest Same As Doctor
Congressional members are again kowtowing to Christian Science by sponsoring a provision in the health care reform bill to allow prayer to be considered medicine. The Christian Science Church has pushed throughout its history to secure official recognition for its paid prayer practitioners. That's right, I said paid prayer practitioners. Their job is to pray for healing and charge for treatment at rates similar to those of medical doctors. Imagine having a job where you just pray for someone to get better all the while earning doctor's wages! I guess if you don't have a conscience or care at all about people, that's the best job in the world. If praying for someone to get better counts as medicine, shouldn't praying for someone to die be considered an attempt at murder? Does praying to win the lottery amount to fraud?
-STA
Friday, October 9, 2009
Perfect Love
[Adapted from a video by Nick Gisburne]
I saw a beautiful woman sitting alone in the park. I recognize her, because she comes there often. I've admired her for quite some time, but I've never gotten up the courage to talk to her, or even let her know I exist. I start writing her letters, telling her how much I love her. I tell her of all the wonderful things I can do for her, and to her, if only she'd be mine. I leave these letters on her front porch, and I watch in hiding as she reads them and blushes with excitement. She runs to the door and yells out into the street, "Let me see you! I love you!" though I remain hidden.
I continue writing her, constantly expressing my devotion and unconditional love. She keeps asking to see me. She starts writing me responses and leaving them on the porch so that I would find them whenever I came to deliver my next batch of love letters. In her responses, she begs me to reveal my identity, that only if she and I could talk face-to-face and hold each other close, then the fullness of our love could be realized. I respond in my next letter by saying I want her to freely love me, and I don't think she could if she knew my true identity.
Over time, I notice my letters start to pile up at her doorstep. It seems she no longer reads them. Worried, I began watching her through her window. She seems not to care about how much I love her. I then see a man walk up to her door. She answers it, and kisses him passionately on the mouth. Infuriated and confused, I race to the door and strike them both down. I drag them inside and tie them up. I scream at my former love, "Why? Why? Why?! After you knew how much I loved you, how could you betray our love?"
"How can I love you if I can't be with you?" she asked through her tears. I can't hear through the raging torrent of blood pumping through my veins. "All I asked was for you to love me -- ONLY ME!" I screamed as I doused the living room with a gas can. She pleaded with me to stop, that she'd love me, but it was too late. As I walked away from the burning house, I relished her screams of agony, for she was receiving justice for denying me.
I saw a beautiful woman sitting alone in the park. I recognize her, because she comes there often. I've admired her for quite some time, but I've never gotten up the courage to talk to her, or even let her know I exist. I start writing her letters, telling her how much I love her. I tell her of all the wonderful things I can do for her, and to her, if only she'd be mine. I leave these letters on her front porch, and I watch in hiding as she reads them and blushes with excitement. She runs to the door and yells out into the street, "Let me see you! I love you!" though I remain hidden.
I continue writing her, constantly expressing my devotion and unconditional love. She keeps asking to see me. She starts writing me responses and leaving them on the porch so that I would find them whenever I came to deliver my next batch of love letters. In her responses, she begs me to reveal my identity, that only if she and I could talk face-to-face and hold each other close, then the fullness of our love could be realized. I respond in my next letter by saying I want her to freely love me, and I don't think she could if she knew my true identity.
Over time, I notice my letters start to pile up at her doorstep. It seems she no longer reads them. Worried, I began watching her through her window. She seems not to care about how much I love her. I then see a man walk up to her door. She answers it, and kisses him passionately on the mouth. Infuriated and confused, I race to the door and strike them both down. I drag them inside and tie them up. I scream at my former love, "Why? Why? Why?! After you knew how much I loved you, how could you betray our love?"
"How can I love you if I can't be with you?" she asked through her tears. I can't hear through the raging torrent of blood pumping through my veins. "All I asked was for you to love me -- ONLY ME!" I screamed as I doused the living room with a gas can. She pleaded with me to stop, that she'd love me, but it was too late. As I walked away from the burning house, I relished her screams of agony, for she was receiving justice for denying me.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Missing Bible
I just stayed at a hotel in Branson, Missouri-- the G-rated Las Vegas. The town is filled with nothing but "family" shows and activities; there's a lot of brochures for shows with the little Jesus fish on them. I couldn't wait to play hide-the-bible at the hotel.
Seek And Ye Shall Find
If you haven't played that game, you really should consider it on your next hotel stay. See, the cleaning staff have to put everything back the way it was before you got there, in preparation for the next guest. And I mean everything: the towels are folded a certain way, the blinds are set to a specific angle, even the TV is put back on the default channel and the remote put back in its place. They essentially reset the room.
You usually find a bible in the bedside drawer, and if you're an infidel like me (or just mischievous in general) try to find a better place for the bible before you check out. Make it difficult for them to find; put it behind the TV or way under the bed in the corner, or wrapped up in the towels. (I generally tend to not damage it too much; it's not my rightful property and I respect that.) You could even write a letter and put it deep within the pages, so the next person who opens it will find your message. Whatever works best for you.
Blessed Are Those Who Do Not See
Anyway, I was all looking forward to playing, seeing as how the town seemed to carry that nauseatingly sweet air of righteousness just under its surface...when come to find out, my hotel room didn't have a friggin bible in it!
Maybe it was just a fluke, or maybe the previous occupant kept (or destroyed) it. Or maybe the FSM was watching over me and, knowing that the World's Largest Toy Museum had blatantly attempted to shove Christianity down my throat, supernaturally hid the vile tome from mine eyes. Whatever the cause, I was extremely grateful and a little sad at not getting to play my favorite hotel game.
Moral: Don't visit Branson's Toy Museum if you don't like being proselytized to.
-STA
Seek And Ye Shall Find
If you haven't played that game, you really should consider it on your next hotel stay. See, the cleaning staff have to put everything back the way it was before you got there, in preparation for the next guest. And I mean everything: the towels are folded a certain way, the blinds are set to a specific angle, even the TV is put back on the default channel and the remote put back in its place. They essentially reset the room.
You usually find a bible in the bedside drawer, and if you're an infidel like me (or just mischievous in general) try to find a better place for the bible before you check out. Make it difficult for them to find; put it behind the TV or way under the bed in the corner, or wrapped up in the towels. (I generally tend to not damage it too much; it's not my rightful property and I respect that.) You could even write a letter and put it deep within the pages, so the next person who opens it will find your message. Whatever works best for you.
Blessed Are Those Who Do Not See
Anyway, I was all looking forward to playing, seeing as how the town seemed to carry that nauseatingly sweet air of righteousness just under its surface...when come to find out, my hotel room didn't have a friggin bible in it!
Maybe it was just a fluke, or maybe the previous occupant kept (or destroyed) it. Or maybe the FSM was watching over me and, knowing that the World's Largest Toy Museum had blatantly attempted to shove Christianity down my throat, supernaturally hid the vile tome from mine eyes. Whatever the cause, I was extremely grateful and a little sad at not getting to play my favorite hotel game.
Moral: Don't visit Branson's Toy Museum if you don't like being proselytized to.
-STA
Monday, February 25, 2008
Moderately Nuts
I'm with Penn Jillette on this one...
28% Believer
Moderate Christians piss me off. I'm tired of them; I'm sorry, but I am. I don't care what you believe, just as long as you believe it 100%. None of this wishy-washy, flip-flopping kind of belief. I'm talking about the real deal!
I'm just fed up with these "so-called" believers who like to keep it on the down-low. Know what I mean? They don't tell anyone what they believe, just assuming that everyone is a Christian like them (same believes and all).
Their own bibles instruct them to judge people, preach to them, and give reasons why they believe.
Yet how many lightweights do you see every day who want to just live and let live? That's not the way it should be at all! It's like believing in Santa Claus, but just that he's a nice old man who gives what he can to kids in his area for Christmas.
Tell It Like (You Think) It Is
I say get out there, you fradycat fence-walkers! Start telling your sister, your son, your grandma, your mailman, your defense attorney, and your Wal-Mart greeter that you worship Jesus H. Fucking Christ, and let them know that if they don't accept his gift of true love, their eternal souls burn forever in a pit of fire when they croak!
Or maybe you're a cherry-picking Muslim? Maybe you think that women shouldn't be submissive, or that you should just get along with your Hindu neighbor friend. You'd better read the rulebook a little closer. Same goes for every other nut-job belief system.
You see what I'm getting at here, people? If you're gonna believe something, you should believe in it whole-heartedly.
It'll be easier to spot the crazy that way.
-STA
28% Believer
Moderate Christians piss me off. I'm tired of them; I'm sorry, but I am. I don't care what you believe, just as long as you believe it 100%. None of this wishy-washy, flip-flopping kind of belief. I'm talking about the real deal!
I'm just fed up with these "so-called" believers who like to keep it on the down-low. Know what I mean? They don't tell anyone what they believe, just assuming that everyone is a Christian like them (same believes and all).
Their own bibles instruct them to judge people, preach to them, and give reasons why they believe.
Yet how many lightweights do you see every day who want to just live and let live? That's not the way it should be at all! It's like believing in Santa Claus, but just that he's a nice old man who gives what he can to kids in his area for Christmas.
Tell It Like (You Think) It Is
I say get out there, you fradycat fence-walkers! Start telling your sister, your son, your grandma, your mailman, your defense attorney, and your Wal-Mart greeter that you worship Jesus H. Fucking Christ, and let them know that if they don't accept his gift of true love, their eternal souls burn forever in a pit of fire when they croak!
Or maybe you're a cherry-picking Muslim? Maybe you think that women shouldn't be submissive, or that you should just get along with your Hindu neighbor friend. You'd better read the rulebook a little closer. Same goes for every other nut-job belief system.
You see what I'm getting at here, people? If you're gonna believe something, you should believe in it whole-heartedly.
It'll be easier to spot the crazy that way.
-STA
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)